On the Isle of Miami Beach

See this beautiful hotel on Miami Beach?  We couldn't get in.  Jo drove me up.to the palacial front door, I marched up to the desk, requested their best room for $100 or less. Mind you, I'm dressed in shorts and a long sloppy shirt.  My make-up is gone and I look like I just got out of bed.  For some strange reason, they didn't succumb to my charm and summarily dismissed me.  They sniffed their response (no!) and mentally waved me off.    Evidently, breezing in from out of town and requesting major amenities is not done in these here parts.   (Well excuse me!!)  I told Jo to drive around and I called six or seven hotels and basically got the same message.  On each successive call, I eliminated one "amenity" until finally I would ask "Do you have a bathroom?  Best Western finally stepped in and gave us a room on the 8th floor with a balcony, a view of the street and wireless.  The hotel is on the beach but our room faces Collins Street.  We'll take it!!!!